How to Turn Humble Zucchini Into a Luscious Spread

Trim the zucchinis and then shred them on a large-hole grater. (a classic technique is to wait until the garlic or shallot are in the pan and grate the zucchini right into the pan - they're so soft they tend to grate down pretty quickly.) Peel and mince the garlic or shallot. Melt the butter or heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the garlic or shallot and cook, stirring, until they are fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add the zucchini and stir to combine everything. Sprinkle with the salt and stir again. Adjust the heat to maintain a steady, gentle sizzle. You want to cook this zucchini slowly until it falls apart onto itself and becomes supremely tender, for about 30 minutes. You're not looking to brown it or sear it or make it crisp-tender. Cook, stirring now and again, being sure to scrape up any bits of zucchini that start to stick to the pan. When the zucchini starts to stick a bit, you must add 1/4 cup water. I find that is usually enough, but if it starts to stick again before the cooking time is up, add another 1/4 cup water to help scrape up any bits clinging to the pan and help keep the zucchini from sticking more. After about half an hour the zucchini should be amazingly tender and melting. The flavor, too, will likely surprise people. Be prepared for disbelieving diners.